Taking on too much
I was reading a beautiful book that I bought as I was given some money for a birthday gift called The Beauty Apothecary by Lorraine Anderson. In it she suggests writing a list of what you would like to do and cutting it in half. At first this may seem anti productive but sometimes we can overwhelm ourselves by trying to do too much.
We may often have more than one area of our lives that needs addressing daily such as work, family, relationships and health. However, it is very easy to have unrealistic expectations of what we can do in one day or weekend and we end up cramming so many things that we feel exhausted by the end of it.
I reflected on this and I realised I had recently had extremely high expectations of myself and I was getting annoyed with myself for not completing everything and feeling like a failure.
I was starting to struggle to get up in the mornings and not getting going properly until after 9 am when just a few weeks ago I was up at 7am every day. I was ignoring the signs of my body and just trying to push through so I wasn’t disappointing anyone.
When we say yes to everything, and try to help others all the time, we end up not helping ourselves.
If we ignore the signs to slow down, we often get run down easily and get a virus so we are forced to cancel appointments.
By pacing ourselves and doing a little bit less, we can usually find more enjoyment in what we are doing as we create a little more space mentally for ourselves.
Although midlife women are often understood to be busy with aging parents, jobs and teenage children, I have observed lately that older people can also suffer with this.
On the surface people may think it's easy if people are retired on a pension but many individuals are juggling health issues,and caring for grandchildren and they feel strained and busy too.
As a self employed individual with a new business I know it's easier said than done when we have bills to pay.
Small tweaks however can make a big difference to your overall week.
5 ideas are:
If someone asks you to do something, ask yourself, does it benefit me financially, physically or bring me joy, or do I feel obligated? This helps you know if you really want to do it or not.
Plan in your diary two hours a week of spaciousness. Block it off, even if Sunday is the only day you can do it. See what your energy levels are. If feeling like a walk, go for one, or just allow yourself to sit with your feet up without feeling like you have to be doing anything.
Place your phone on do not disturb mode when you really need quiet time away from messages, emails and other notifications.
Look at your diary for next week. Does it feel good or does it fill you with dread? Is there anything you can reschedule or have an honest conversation about?
Know that you don’t exist to please everyone. Many of us can be people pleasers, dreading the disapproval of others. Allow people to have their own emotions and know that you can’t be all things to all people. This isn’t failure-it’s reality.
I hope if you feel you have taken on too much it's ok to realise that, and most people if you explain to them will be understanding.
Sending you warm wishes for the week ahead,
Claire